12th Mar 2011
Saturday // 2pm // 3 years ago
So last night I got really upset, and I was crying on the phone to my boyfriend about my body image issues and how it is an obsession, how it rules my life, how I can’t stop thinking about it.
I’m going to change that. I’m sick of feeling so down all the time about my body. Spring is almost here, and I want to be happy and fully embrace the new, warm weather. I’m done with all the bullshit and so ready to be happy.
11th Mar 2011
Friday // 10am // 3 years ago
I woke up this morning feeling like absolute shit. Honestly, I felt like I was going to throw up. I went to the bathroom and sat on the toilet for twenty minutes. Maybe this post will get a little TMI, but I don’t have that much to say. My constipation is getting worse, and I called out of work today, and emailed my professor and said I can’t go to class. I’ve never had real constipation before, and this kills.
My body hurts, I feel nauseous and gross, I didn’t get enough sleep last night, and I don’t know if I have enough strength to make it to the gym today. I had some blueberries for breakfast and hopefully I’ll be able to go to lunch, or get some food in my system.
I have so much homework to do over this weekend. It is absolutely crazy. I really can’t wait until next Thursday when my boyfriend comes up to visit me. I just need a break, a back rub, and some kisses. I get so stressed out here and it gets really lonely being in the middle of fucking no where in Maine.
So anyway, I think I’m going to walk to the store later today (depending on whether or not it stops raining) and get some laxatives. I really need this shit to come out, and I’ll fucking take the whole box if that’s what I need to do. Don’t panic! I don’t plan on it! Not about to OD on laxatives here. Just frustrated that I can’t poop.